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Last Monday of the Week 2022-02-07
Feb. 7th, 2022 06:44 pmmissed last week on account of being a disaster. still a disaster but a disaster who likes marking the passage of time
Posting Update
One chapter each week, which, you know, could definitely be doing better
Every Hateful Instrument - Chapter Twelve - The Exile's Return
Writing Update
Since 1/24 I've written 9,390 words. this is deeply pathetic lol. I did not even come close to hitting 50k for January, and February's not looking that much brighter. God. Noodle. Get yourself together.
In terms of what I've been working on, I finished my chunk of EHI chapters, and now it's time to do something different. I was flirting with the idea of writing a short fic or a short story but really I should just try to get my momentum back and move forward with SMST. I do think that working on one story at a time for a couple weeks is good for me, but also hbhbh I want to have a big project "finished" and everything I'm working on is miles and miles away from that sweet sweet reward brain emotion.
I also... really would like to get more people to read EHI but I'm not sure how to do that lol. Getting people to read your original fiction is so difficult lol. It's good! I promise it's really good! alas. [me @ me: no one owes you their attention, noodle]
Media Update
I watched two movies, Overture to a New War, which you /really/ don't need to hear me talk about rn, and Festen (1998) [letterboxd review]. It was a good movie but like most movies I watch I can only recommend it to people who enjoy movies that make you miserable lol. Also the um. theory of filmmaking that it espouses is so strange. but that's more of a 'lol, filmmakers are weird' thing than anything that changes my opinion of the movie itself.
I need to read Devil House by John Darnielle but I haven't gotten around to it yet. maybe this weekend if I feel like I've accomplished enough writing.
Art Update
I did draw a picture!
Not 100% sure how I feel about it but it felt good to paint anyway. took me idk 7 hrs?
I'm also working on a second pic of WIAW yang and kircheis, but it's kinda driving me up the wall so we'll see if a completed version ever sees the light of day.
Life Update
There was a major snowstorm that meant that![[twitter.com profile]](https://p.dreamwidth.org/e0caa790ec10/-/twitter.com/favicon.ico)
nottanewtype didn't get to come visit me the other weekend and i'm like. deeply deeply sad about this :( I want to hang out.
Still doing my silly little ice skating thing. I'm getting better. I really have to remember to take my 2 tylenol and 3 ibuprofen like a full hour before i go, so that they have time to kick in and stop my feet from feeling like they are getting chewed on by sharks. i also think i am going to go get fitted for a pair of skates but i'm hesitant b/c like. it's cringe for me to just even exist let alone dare to do things lol. but i must conquer my fear of people laughing at me for existing and go get fitted for skates.
speaking of: i also have managed to go swimming at the Y several times, and it's been Fine. I enjoy the swimming part, though I wish I could have a lane to myself always, because it just makes life easier lol. The getting changed into and out of my swimsuit is a new level of psychic torment though. hell is a locker room without any changing stalls in it. being ass naked in front of someone i'm having sex with: completely 100% fine. being ass naked with random people at the ymca: i would prefer not to slavoj zizek dot jpeg
really feeling [emotions] about [thing] that i'm not sure what to do with. sorry this is vague. i really want to [redacted] but i feel like i haven't idk. earned it yet. that's maybe not the best way of expressing it. but like... idk. god i wish i was better at talking to people. i love talking to people but it's very hard for me to reach out because i so rarely have things that i feel are 'worth' saying lol. anyway i'm... augh. like to be clear this isn't a bad feeling it's just like something i don't know if it's appropriate to DO something about. i'm always worried about being Too Much for everyone around me b/c i know that I am. anyway that's a DIFFERENT can-o-worms.
what else has been going on? there's been a couple specific work things that have been specifically sucking. but that's the nature of work lol.
What's On the Docket?
Posting Update
One chapter each week, which, you know, could definitely be doing better
Every Hateful Instrument - Chapter Twelve - The Exile's Return
I was told that this chapter was better than the last ones, which I'll believe. It's been long enough since I wrote it that I've forgotten everything I actually had to say about it though lol.
There are some things I like about this chapter and some things I don't. I think it ends in a slightly weird spot, but I don't hate the conversation with Herrault. I really like the generational theme I have going on lol.
Writing Update
Since 1/24 I've written 9,390 words. this is deeply pathetic lol. I did not even come close to hitting 50k for January, and February's not looking that much brighter. God. Noodle. Get yourself together.
In terms of what I've been working on, I finished my chunk of EHI chapters, and now it's time to do something different. I was flirting with the idea of writing a short fic or a short story but really I should just try to get my momentum back and move forward with SMST. I do think that working on one story at a time for a couple weeks is good for me, but also hbhbh I want to have a big project "finished" and everything I'm working on is miles and miles away from that sweet sweet reward brain emotion.
I also... really would like to get more people to read EHI but I'm not sure how to do that lol. Getting people to read your original fiction is so difficult lol. It's good! I promise it's really good! alas. [me @ me: no one owes you their attention, noodle]
Media Update
I watched two movies, Overture to a New War, which you /really/ don't need to hear me talk about rn, and Festen (1998) [letterboxd review]. It was a good movie but like most movies I watch I can only recommend it to people who enjoy movies that make you miserable lol. Also the um. theory of filmmaking that it espouses is so strange. but that's more of a 'lol, filmmakers are weird' thing than anything that changes my opinion of the movie itself.
I need to read Devil House by John Darnielle but I haven't gotten around to it yet. maybe this weekend if I feel like I've accomplished enough writing.
Art Update
I did draw a picture!
I'm also working on a second pic of WIAW yang and kircheis, but it's kinda driving me up the wall so we'll see if a completed version ever sees the light of day.
Life Update
There was a major snowstorm that meant that
Still doing my silly little ice skating thing. I'm getting better. I really have to remember to take my 2 tylenol and 3 ibuprofen like a full hour before i go, so that they have time to kick in and stop my feet from feeling like they are getting chewed on by sharks. i also think i am going to go get fitted for a pair of skates but i'm hesitant b/c like. it's cringe for me to just even exist let alone dare to do things lol. but i must conquer my fear of people laughing at me for existing and go get fitted for skates.
speaking of: i also have managed to go swimming at the Y several times, and it's been Fine. I enjoy the swimming part, though I wish I could have a lane to myself always, because it just makes life easier lol. The getting changed into and out of my swimsuit is a new level of psychic torment though. hell is a locker room without any changing stalls in it. being ass naked in front of someone i'm having sex with: completely 100% fine. being ass naked with random people at the ymca: i would prefer not to slavoj zizek dot jpeg
really feeling [emotions] about [thing] that i'm not sure what to do with. sorry this is vague. i really want to [redacted] but i feel like i haven't idk. earned it yet. that's maybe not the best way of expressing it. but like... idk. god i wish i was better at talking to people. i love talking to people but it's very hard for me to reach out because i so rarely have things that i feel are 'worth' saying lol. anyway i'm... augh. like to be clear this isn't a bad feeling it's just like something i don't know if it's appropriate to DO something about. i'm always worried about being Too Much for everyone around me b/c i know that I am. anyway that's a DIFFERENT can-o-worms.
what else has been going on? there's been a couple specific work things that have been specifically sucking. but that's the nature of work lol.
What's On the Docket?
- SMST ch4, the yang & muller epistolary chapter
- SMST ch5, the yang & ansbach wear their get-along shirt chapter
- finish my yang and kircheis painting
- read Devil House
- try to convince more people to read EHI
- work nonsense
- swimming on thursday
- make appointment to get skates fitted
- skating on sunday
- i kinda wish my friday/saturday nights were not booked with stuff from now into eternity b/c i would really like to entice a stranger on lex to go bowling with me, because i am absolutely fucking desperate to go bowling. this isn't a euphemism. though presumably i would also say in this hypothetical lex post that i would want to hook up also lol. but really i do want to go bowling. anyway that's not going to happen b/c my weekend nights are booked 😔
