natsinator

Well I already slightly fell off the bandwagon on these but lol what is life other than climbing out of the hole which resembles the grave but isn't.

Posting Update
Two things to report since we last spoke :)

The Words, Graven In the Wall With a Nail, Were Still Legible in 1848 - 3,052 words
General Writing Update
Not that much to report other than that I haven't been souper productive, and also I'm in the throes of the feeling "please please oh lord let me be finished with SMST". but the only way out is through! anyway I re-outlined the back half of the novel, which I think was very helpful b/c it cleared up a bunch of things that were like "this needs to happen but I only know the events and not their motivations", so now I think everything has a fairly logical progression. The one bummer is that I am going to have to go back and retcon a bunch of dates from LOFTT b/c I gave myself too much space that I cannot physically fill. lol.

anyway!

Media
I finished three books in the space since I last updated you.

The Iliad - Homer - tr Robert FitzgeraldThe Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka - tr. Susan BernovskyShubeik Lubeik - Deena Mohamed - tr. from Arabic by the author
I'm currently reading One Hundred Years of Solitude. I'll report back next time.

Life Update
Spent 2 grand to take a community college course for reasons that sound dumb if I articulate them, so I shan't. Work continues to suck. I had my physical today and the doctor said my foot hurts because I'm anxious, which is a new one. There's a reason I didn't go to a doctor for a decade lol. I think I failed to schedule a follow-up but whatever.

Anyway I'm trying to not spend money, since i had that aforementioned big expense, but I really need a new pair of shoes (every pair I own is falling apart [🎵and tearing at the seams heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know whyyyyyy🎵]). I feel like i should Invest in a nice pair that will last but oh my god. I hate spending money lol.

I haven't been on top of things recently. Sad!

What's On the Docket?

• Finish One Hundred Years of Solitude
• Get SMST ch 22 out the door
• I really for real need to renew my passport
• Get out of the hole which resembles the grave but isn't

Hello Yuletide writer! Thank you in advance <33 I'm natsinator on ao3, natsinator , and javert  if you want to digitally check me out :)

Note: for any fandoms i requested 'any' characters for, you really truly are welcome to write about any characters you want. I left a list of my faves in case you want to go off that, but it is 100% not required.

This year, I'm requesting

• Ginga Eiyuu Densetsu | Legend of the Galactic Heroes
• Tallahassee - the Mountain Goats (Album)
• Emelan - Tamora Pierce
• Young Wizards - Diane Duane
• Gattaca (1997)
• The Young Pope (TV)

General Likes

• worldbuilding heavy fic
• fic with unusual format (ie in-universe documents, anything that takes an adversarial relationship to the og text, interactive fiction, tbh literally anything that you wonder 'this is a strange choice... will anyone like it?' the answer is yes i will love it)
• angst
• anything that "takes the problems seriously" (in terms of interpersonal problems, plot conflict, or problems inherent to the setting)
• people who make each other worse
• never escaping the labyrinth (metaphorically)
• canon typical violence
• canon typical sexism/homophobia/etc
• messy and complicated relationships between people (both platonic/familial/romantic/dutiful/etc)
• #gender
• self-destruction
• literary/historical references and allusions
• layers of meaning

General DNW

• crackfic/comedy
• parent/child incest
• pwp (porn in larger plot is fine)
• whump without plot (fine in larger plot)
• everybody lives/nobody dies AUs/fix-it AUs in general
• basically anything that goes out of its way to handwave away conflict
• sweet/untroublesome heterosexual domesticity
• gender/sex swap AU
• afterlife fic

TBCH I'm a very easy person to please even if you have no desire to write something that tends darker. I just really like anything that is willing to like... embrace complexity, in whatever form that takes.

Ginga Eiyuu Densetsu | Legend of the Galactic Heroes

What is it?
Legend of the Galactic Heroes is a space opera anime from the 80s/90s based on novels of the same name, consisting of 110 episodes + two movies + a spinoff prequel series. It takes place in the far future, and is mostly about the war between two galactic-scale countries (representing democracy and autocracy). It's a complicated military and political show, with a huge cast of characters, and is possibly the best anime ever made. It also has a modern updated anime, Die Neue These, which is still ongoing.

If I'm curious, where should I get started with this canon?

• If your favorite thing in stories is character drama, start with the movie Overture to a New War
• If you just want to watch a pretty 90 minute anime movie, start with My Conquest is the Sea of Stars
• If you like military sf and/or Takes about history, start with episode 1 of the OVA
• If you like modern anime, start with episode 1 of Die Neue These
• If your main way of engaging with any series is through gay fanfiction, start with A Wheel Inside a Wheel

Where can I experience it?
Legally, the OVA and movies are on Hidive, Die Neue These is on Crunchyroll, the novels all have English translations available on Amazon.

General Notes
Although I am requesting the 1988 anime, feel free to write about DNT/michihara manga/novels/Golden Wings if you prefer! I love either shipfic or genfic for this canon, and I'll probably be happy with any character you decide to write about, even/especially if you want to write about someone super minor.

Fave characters

• Yang
• Reuenthal
• Annerose
• Hilda

Fave ships

• Reuenthal/Mittermeyer
• Reuenthal/Elfriede
• Yang/Schenkopp (unrequited)
• Yang/Dusty
• Annerose/Magdalena (but they have to be kinda messy about it)
• Elfriede/Dominique
• Reinhard/Hilda (but in a 'they're both gay and this was a mistake that they now have to live with' way)
• Yang/Jessica Edwards/Jean Robert Lapp (in the messiest way possible)
• actually it might just be helpful to direct you to my silly little (gigantic) ship chart

Fandom specific likes

• taking a relatively minor aspect of canon and narrowing in on it
• the running theme of "what do children inherit from their fathers"
• democracy vs autocracy as a lens to explore how relationships of power between people destroy them
• wacky power dynamics in general
• exploration of the violence/sexism/homophobia/classism/etc inherent to the canon
• using the SF aspects as more than just set dressing
• using the historical aspects as more than just set dressing
• fic about empire/alliance/phezzan/earth church society
• fic about (ultra)minor characters
• wacky rarepairs that explore something interesting thematically
• genfic or shipfic

Fandom specific DNW

• AUs that remove conflict (ie DNW coffee shop AU, but a 1800s naval AU is cool)
• primary ship in the fic being reinhard/kircheis (background is fine)
• yang/reinhard
• yang/julian
• post-canon fic centered on Alexander and Felix's relationship with each other (Alex and/or Felix fic about their relationship to other characters is fine)

Tallahassee - the Mountain Goats

What is it?
Tallahassee is a 2002 concept album by the Mountain Goats about the dissolution of a marriage between an incredibly dysfunctional couple. It's based on an earlier series of songs that all have the word 'alpha' in the title. It fucks severely.

Where can I experience it?

• a link to just the Tallahassee album on youtube
• a link to a youtube playlist of all the alpha couple songs
• a link to a mountain goats resource page

General Notes
Although the fandom listed is only the Tallahassee album, I'm fine with either incorporating the rest of the Alpha Couple songs or ignoring them lol.

Fandom specific likes

• really atmospheric settings
• mundane moments elevated to horror though sensory detail
• problems that could be solved if the people who had them were different people (but, crucially, they are not)
• coping with fear/hatred/anger/any negative emotion by eroticising it (specifically for this fandom i waive my DNW of PWP)
• utterly rancid heterosexuality
• doing things that are bad for you just because they make you feel something
• the flip-switch between love and hatred and between elation and despair
• two people who hate each other equally but want to be the one who hates the other more
• escalation
• homes as sites of horror
• burning everything down (but maybe not getting any catharsis out of it)

Fandom specific DNW

• please do not make any attempt to permanently and genuinely solve these characters' problems unless their solution is something along the lines of "let's do a murder-suicide" lmao
• setting/time change AUs unless like there's something really compelling about it
• post-canon fic
• not a hard DNW but i think it's really fun how the alpha couple are not named and it would be nice if they could remain nameless
• anything that looks like "formal" bdsm where it's clear the characters are in some way doing a scene/sat down and talked about it before hand

Emelan - Tamora Pierce

What is it?
Emelan is a series of YA fantasy novels, mainly about four young adults who have ambient magic-- magic that connects them deeply to some aspect of the natural world. At the beginning of the series, the four teens accidentally bind their magic together such that they become mentally part of each other (can use each other's magic/hear their thoughts/feel what they are feeling). The series follows them as they learn to use their magic and grow into adults. There are four main books (Circle of Magic series) that focus on each one of the quartet in their younger years, four books where each character goes off on their own (The Circle Opens), one more mature standalone book about the characters reuniting (The Will of the Empress), and a couple spinoff books (Melting Stones and Battle Magic).

If I'm curious, where should I start?
Circle of Magic book 1: Sandry's Book! Or, possibly, if you don't mind being slightly confused and want a more mature take on the series, skip directly to The Will of the Empress

Where can I experience it?
Wherever books are found tbh.

Fave characters

• Daja
• Tris

Fave ships

• Daja/Tris/Sandry/Briar ot4
• Daja/OFC
• Tris/Briar

Fandom specific likes

• post Will of the Empress fic (it doesn't have to be set then, i just particularly like it)
• a more mature take on canon (not necessarily like "adult" just "what if this series was not written for the 12-16 age group, what themes and ideas would end up highlighted")
• what does it really mean to truly share part of your mind with other people
• political conflict
• the tension between academic and ambient magic
• religion
• confronting the issue of class
• winding circle as an idyll (and what that means when you can't go home, or when the idyll is disrupted, or when it's revealed there are problems that were not immediately obvious)
• the way that all these characters conceptualize themselves through their magic and how that influences their perception of their place in the world
• overwhelming displays of power contrasted with tiny moments of intimacy
• the cool scientific/technical/discipline specific details that make ambient magic "run"
• being a channel for the power of the natural world and being overwhelmed by it
• students outgrowing their teachers
• shipfic or genfic is fine
• i waive my DNW of PWP if and only if you want to write ot4 PWP lol

Fandom specific DNW

• AUs that remove conflict or the general way the characters exist inside each other's heads (ie DNW coffee shop AU, but a space opera AU is cool)
• teacher/student ships
• canon character/OMC
• magical or supernatural elements that are wildly different from what is presented in canon

Young Wizards - Diane Duane

What is it?
Young Wizards is a series of YA fantasy novels. The plot revolves around Nita and Kit, two teens who are granted wizardry, which they pledge to use to fight the forces of entropy in the universe. The series is "SF flavored fantasy" and incorporates religious elements and imagery.

Where do I go if I'm curious?
Start with the first book, So You Want to Be a Wizard. I recommend the New Millennium editions sold on the author's website, as they update the timeline to "modern-ish" rather than confusedly jumping between the 80s and mid 2000s as the characters get older more slowly than the books were originally published lol.

Fave characters

• Dairine
• Nita,
• The Lone Power
• Ronan
• Kit

Fave ships

• Nita/Kit/Ronan
• Nita/The Lone Power
• Nita/Kit

Fandom specific likes

• Dairine as half human and half machine (real autism hours...)
• the fear of getting older
• being a vessel for something much much larger than yourself
• the cost of breaking an oath vs the cost of keeping it
• the difference between obligation and morality
• picking at the messy edges of the fact that this series is CS Lewis style catholic apologetics
• having the capacity to love in a fundamentally broken world vs if the world were not fundamentally broken love would not be necessary
• genuine self-sacrifice
• self-sacrifice because it's easier than the alternative (and that makes it the worse choice)
• living with the consequences
• refusing to make a choice
• making the wrong choice
• making a good choice and regretting it
• making a bad choice and refusing to regret it
• mobile society
• I waive my afterlife fic DNW for this fandom only if you plan to do something really interesting with it

Fandom specific DNW:

• mundane (never had magic) AUs ("lost magic somehow" AU is fine)
• magical or supernatural elements that are wildly different from what is presented in canon
• teenager style relationship drama
• issuefic

Gattaca (1997)

What is it?
Gattaca is a SF movie set in the near-future where most people were genetically screened before birth to remove any possible health problems, and essentially create a race of perfect humans. Those whose parents did not do this for them are an underclass in society and are denied employment on the basis of this "disability". The movie follows one man in this class who is desperate to become an astronaut, so he buys the identity of one of the "perfect" men who has become disabled in a car crash, and goes through elaborate hoops to fake living his life. This movie is like. so perfect for my brain. It does so much and throws away its political point completely in the last 5 minutes, and even though it's #problematic... honestly i love it for that lol.


Fandom specific likes

• love jerome/vincent and all its messy complexity
• false identities and what it means to live as someone other than yourself
• deep dive into the way the society actually functions
• giving and receiving as acts of love and/or obligation (and how those change over time)
• living vicariously through another person and the combination of jealousy and love that brings
• the body as a tool
• the body as a shell
• the body as a prison
• the body as the hole of a needle through which all experience must pass
• fire and water symbolism
• giving of yourself as self-harm
• you are what you pretend to be (so be careful what you pretend to be)
• swimming
• suicide
• all the wacky architecture in this movie and just the aesthetic in general
• It's fine if you only include one of the requested characters 👍

Fandom specific DNW

• setting change AUs that do not replace the fundamental premise of the setting with something equally interesting
• changing the ending to save the characters

The Young Pope

What is it?
The Young Pope is an HBO miniseries that dares to ask the question: what if the pope... was hot? Anyway it's basically the best TV show ever made. No, but really. The plot follows Lenny, an American bishop in his 50s, who is elected pope possibly due to political schemes in the Vatican and possibly due to the actual will of God. It very quickly becomes clear to everyone that Lenny is an extremely broken man, and he is about to make that everybody else's problem.

Where should I start?
Just watch it. Pretty sure it's on HBO legally but you can probably find it anywhere without trouble. The sequel (The New Pope) is imo bad though so don't bother.

Fave characters:

• Lenny
• Voiello
• Sister Mary
• Bernardo

Fave ships

• Lenny/Bernardo (either unrequited or not)
• Lenny/Dussolier (unrequited)

Fandom specific likes

• feeling free to ignore pretty much everything that happens in the new pope (unless you want to try to fix that mess lmfao)
• character studies
• being horny for god
• true belief and lack of belief
• really grappling with the politics
• adults who feel trapped by their childhoods
• the hazy non-reality of canon
• aesthetics

Fandom specific DNW

• AUs that remove conflict (ie DNW coffee shop AU, but a space opera AU is cool)
• teacher/student ships
• magical or supernatural elements that are wildly different from what is presented in canon
• lenny meeting his parents for real

man idk.

Posting Update
Since last we spoke, I have posted

Serpent's Mouth, Serpent's Teeth - Chapters 10-14General Writing Status
I think I've actually been doing pretty decently? There's no fucking way I'll hit 500k for the year at this point, but 400something isn't out of the question, and I'll take that. I've been more consistent and productive than I have been, and I've been feeling good about pushing chapters out the door. I do love writing so much lol. If only it wasn't so fucking hot out.

i have a lot of ideas and not as much time or energy to execute them as i'd like. but that's the way it always is isn't it. i do think my silly expensive calendar is helping motivate me, at least some.

Media Update
God I must have a billion dollars in fines on my library copy of War and Peace that I have neither finished nor returned. I've gotta fix that lol >.>

I went to see the band Warpaint with my dad. It was pretty great actually.

I went to see the musical Come From Away with my mom. It was... idk. The music was really good, and the staging was really fun. It was a really cohesive and well made musical. BUT. when you watch "that musical that is all about how people can come together in the face of 9/11" like. boy it sure does have a tinge of western chauvinism to it. idk it's probably not that insidious as a piece of media but it is like. a musical about 9/11. uncomfortable to sorta dance around the way the world responded to 9/11 and the major human cost of the wars in the middle east by doing a song about the shared religious human spirit. idk. it was good and it was a very effective musical but i just have to pick at it lol.

Continuing to follow along with the chinese translations of WIAW. it's so fun to read and to get like idk, these moments of insight about how the old parts of WIAW connect to the new... it's really fun and good. love it <3

Life Update
as I said in media i did go places and do things. those are about the only exciting ones. i got new tires put on my car. it's fucking hot as shit out. idk. idk idk.

i have been going swimming and ice skating pretty regularly. i wake up wicked early to go swimming now-- i like that a lot better than going after work. also going to the pool down the street from my house is alright. always wicked crowded tho.

i have a sore throat today :( at home covid test was negative but i scheduled another for tomorrow at CVS just in case.

I need to get more sleep i have not been sleeping as much as I should, for a variety of reasons but one is definitely that it is too fucking hot in my houseeeeeeeeeeee

What's on the Docket?

• Continue plugging away at SMST. I should do something special to celebrate 1mil words of logh fic also, but we'll seeeee.
• I need to make some wooden tchotchkes for kat.
• I should make my SMST cover

 I abandoned these for a while b/c I felt guilty about having accomplished and done absolutely nothing. Anyway now I've got a bit of a backlog.

Posting Update

Serpent's Mouth, Serpent's Teeth - Chapter 6 - Pylades Against the Taurians 

Serpent's Mouth, Serpent's Teeth - Chapter 7 - Fait Accompli
Writing Update

In general, idk. Haven't been getting a ton done b/c I've been wiped out and/or super busy but we will fix that. I did also write a short exchange fic but the exchange isn't live yet so I can't post it here in my list of updates. Um. 

I am just going to plow on writing SMST for the time being I think. DNT is airing and I think I'm in a pretty decent place with this story so I should try not to chuck my momentum directly in the garbage, despite also wanting to finish EHI. We'll see how I feel after another tranche of chapters I guess.

I also signed up for WDLF so that should be fun. I think my obsessive tendencies will force me to make something for whoever I get matched to just so I don't have that ugly default sitting in my AO3 acct forever. lmao. hope I get someone who at least once in their life has been interested in the same media as I have been.

Art Update
I did draw one WIAW sketch that's not worth anything and also one frog but meh i'm too lazy to link these images here. Just imagine them in your head.

Media Update
Oh boy.

• I read Finding a Future Lost, a fun little sf romance between a former cult girl and a free robot. Admittedly, I am biased b/c it was written by a friend :3 ( parakavka )
• Rewatched 2001: A Space Odyssey. It's a great movie, absolutely stunning to look at, but jesus fucking christ is it slow paced. My brain can't handle that kind of thing these days. Also I think the gravity rings are too small.
• Rewatched Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence. still a fantastic film. captain yonoi's problems syndrome lmfao
• Rewatched Dr. Strangelove. never gets old, for real
• Rewatched Le Samourai. Another extremely slow movie filled with set design to sink your teeth into. Very enjoyable to look at
• Watched Tokyo Godfathers. Shockingly good, but this is because I am hugely biased against Christmas movies. It holds up well outside the christmas season lol. I enjoyed it a lot. 
• Watched Cane Toads: An Unnatural History. Fun documentary. Didn't quite give me a brain worm but I'm not sure what kind of brain worm I was supposed to catch from it.
• Watched Night Is Short, Walk On Girl. The final third of this movie has aged like milk but the rest of it is really splendid. Beautiful animation and a charmingly disjointed story. I loved it.
• Finally got around to watching my first ever DNT episodes, which of course were the new S3 reumitt backstory episodes. Which alternately made me grind my teeth into a frustrated dust and shriek with elation. Why must DNT do this to me.

Life Update

• I did go to the dentist as mentioned in the last one of these, but they actually cancelled my appointment the first time so my friday off ended up being superfluous. Which was fine. I can't really complain about a random friday off. I went the following saturday.
• I got literally the most awful cold I've maybe ever had. It knocked me flat on my ass for an entire week and tbh I'm still feeling extra phlegmy as a lingering holdover. It wasn't covid (tested negative) but tbh it could have been the flu. I straight up thought my eardrum would burst and I would have to go to the hospital.
• My DND game continues to creep towards the endgame.
• did my taxes! whooo
• cleaned my car! whooo (this is an ironic wooo for reasons you will see momentarily)
• cleaned my fridge! this was a massive undertaking and hopefully I will keep it clean
• I'm struggling to think of what other interesting things happened before this most recent weekend when like a billion things happened. uh idk.
• anyway, this weekend, Will 00ff00_Will came to visit me on his cross country road trip. I actually ended up taking another totally extraneous day off on thursday b/c I thought that was when he would arrive, but he didn't get here until late late so it was silly lol. I accomplished nothing in that time. Anyway, he was here from thursday night (though he immediately just collapsed into bed, understandable) until this morning (i went to work and he left after that). this was truly the epic highs and lows of coming to visit me. um i guess i'll just run down this by day all the things we did.
• on friday we got up and got breakfast at the highland luncheonette (great), then went to beavertail (great), then tried to get dels but dels was closed (sad), then got newport creamery awful awfuls instead (great). after that we came home and will took a nap. then we got dinner at patti's pierogis (the restaurant that only serves pierogis) and ranked a bunch of them. this was great. we then went to a park and swang on the swings/ will attempted to pole dance on the fireman's pole to mixed results. this was also great. we purchased some food at the grocery store but the cashier was weird about the bananas we bought. we tried to go ice skating but the rink was closed for the season??? terrible. then we watched merry christmas mr lawrence (fantastic)
• on saturday, we were like "let's go to Mass MoCA" so we got up and got breakfast at dunk n munch (it was fine) and then got in the car to go to mass moca. on the way, we drove into a hailstorm, and I (along with several other cars in front of me) lost control and ended up crashing my fucking car lmfao. it could have been WAY worse and tbh i was focused mostly on not losing control and ending up in the path of another car in the middle of the highway + not hitting anyone myself as i spun out, and the combination of this made us take a gentle trip into the median railing at about 10mph. my car is like a medium level of fucked though lol. it still drives fine but i can't open the driver door and have to crawl in through the passenger side. hell and death on planet earth. anyway we had to abandon our plans to go to the museum, and we stopped at my parents' house to see if my dad could do anything to get my car door open (he couldn't). we drove back to my place and in providence I was like "should we go to the RISD museum instead?" and so we did. that was fun except for the fact that the pamphlet they gave us had a salman toor painting on the front and yet they had taken down the exhibit. hell and death on planet earth!!! anyway after that we got bubble tea and sat on the brown campus for a bit. and then we got pizza and watched tokyo godfathers and dr strangelove
• on sunday we went to al mac's for breakfast (pretty good). there was a guy there who entrapped me in a nonsensical conversation that I couldn't gracefully escape but whatever it's fine. then we got some little pies from sam's bakery. then i attempted to use my laser cutter but it was fucking broken b/c my house eats electronics >:^( we watched the cane toads documentary and i drew a picture of a frog. also will took a nap. and then we went ice skating, though we had to drive pretty far to do it. it was fun though. i think in order to make my feet hurt less i have to push with my legs and not my feet. ie just skate like you're supposed to and not like a clown. also tie my shoes less tight. it was fun though i had a really great time. then we got smoothies and hot dogs and watched le samourai and night is short walk on girl. very fun time of movie watching
• i'm so glad will came to visit lol I had a great time. it is... very fun to just hang out with someone. and i feel like-- this was the first time that we had ever met lol but you know there's some kinds of people who it's very easy to chill with and even if you have only just met them you feel like it is very naturally easy to be friends with them.
• anyway will you're great thanks for coming and sorry for crashing my car -_- i'm really not as bad of a driver as you may have walked away from this experience thinking lol

I recognize that the stream of consciousness writing style that this post has been made in is like. borderline unreadable. I'm sorry. I'm in a weird state rn.

What's On the Docket?

• I'm going to start doing an episode writeup thing after this. I need to get back in the swing of things and it's been too long since I did the last one.
• SMST Ch 9 - kircheis goes home + the set up for the castrop arc. i have like zero progress on this so far. sorry. but i'm hoping to have it done by this weekend?
• WDLF assignment - they haven't been given out yet but i am ready
• I need to get my car fixed 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
• there's a girl I'm supposed to hook up with this week. need to text her and make concrete plans. esp schedule them around my car repair lol
• I need to get back to swimming. I haven't been in a while b/c sickness + period + generally messing up my life/being busy. but i need to
• go skating again next sunday. it was fun. i want to get better.
• fix my laser 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 i think this will probably require swapping out the control board for another. this probably isn't difficult but it's definitely going to fuck up my whole workflow and also cost me a couple hundred dollars. but now that I lack a laser it is the thing i yearn for most in the world. so. i'm gonna do it. gonna fix it. augh.
• i should really probably buy actual surge protectors and stick every piece of electronic equipment in my house onto one b/c like. my shit keeps dying mysterious deaths and i hate it. things should not be this way.
• I want to make really unhinged posts about reuenthal but I probably should refrain
• I need to watch The Gilded Age. I've been saying I will when I get less busy and hopefully soon I will be less busy.

 Was off social media for like a week. Did it improve my life? eh.

Posting Update
Sadly, only one chapter-ish thing to report. Not getting a ton of writing done, unfortunately. The point of banning myself from social media was to force me to finish my next SMST chapter, which did not happen. I will finish it soon. I'm doing my best lol. This chapter is tricky b/c it's like, logistical details revolving around characters I haven't gotten a firm emotional grasp on yet, which is a hard thing haha. I'll have it finished soon. I've at least made progress on it, which I think is more than I could say for last week.

It's the second birthday of WIAW. Happy birthday WIAW! If only you had grown much more during this past year haha.

Art Update
I guess even if I haven't been writing as much as I should, I have been painting.
Finally drawing someone other than Yang and Annerose :p 

BTW, I got around to compiling all my WIAW art on ao3. If you have any images you'd like added to the collection, let me know. I just don't want to go crossposting things without permission haha.

Media Update
Big week for media. Huge. I read Spring Awakening and watched all of Oniisama E.

Spring AwakeningOniisama EBut like it did give me enough unstable lesbian content to hold me over for a while until I get to start making unstable lesbian content of my own so I've gotta give it credit where credit is due haha.

Life Update
I mostly banned myself from tumblr/twitter/youtube for a week. I think this was a good and timely decision because the amount of nightmare discourse that has been going around this week has I'm sure been completely horrifying. None of you are international relations experts. Shut up for real. Anyway, my actual goal was to try to get my next SMST chapter written, but instead I painted + watched anime + read + wrote a little bit of other nonsense. I guess my brain is just capable of finding anything to distract itself when I don't want to work on the thing I'm supposed to be doing. 

But I think I will be keeping the tumblr and twitter apps uninstalled on my phone. If I'm out and about and need something to look at, I'll just read a book. I think that this will be an improvement in my living situation.

I cleaned my house a bit (yay) and cooked a nice meal this weekend (yay). 

I finished my 2 months of skating lessons. In the end, despite how embarrassing and painful they were, I don't regret it. It was nice to get out of the house and have a thing to do, and I am now confident enough that I can go to free skating at the rink and not make a total fool of myself. That was the goal and I achieved it! So yay noodle! I do want to keep skating, but I don't think I'm going to sign up for another 2 months of lessons right away. I think I'm going to go to free skate for a while and see how that feels. I really do want to stick with it as a hobby, because it is fun and I enjoy it, and it's nice to have An Thing To Do.

Also went swimming today, which was Fine. I snagged a Thursday timeslot so I'll go then too, barring any disaster.

What's On the Docket?

• Finish SMST Ch5. Tomorrow. On God.
• SMST Ch6.
• Space Swap assignment.
• I want to see if the providence skating rink is going to be open at all in March (it depends on the weather). If it is, I want to go b/c they have better hours than the rink near me (though I would also have to drive to and park in providence. augh.). Either way, I want to go to sunday free skate at the nearby rink.
• I want to go to the thrift store and purchase one (1) fun mug for me to keep at my work desk.
• I'm reading the Alexander Pope Iliad. I'm enjoying it so far. The translation of the Odyssey I read a while ago was definitely an easier one but I have been on a real poetry kick so I deliberately picked a more poetic rather than more literal and modern-sounding translation.
• Friday anime night with the friends :3
• Saturday dnd. Our campaign is ending (RIP in pieces) so I have to come up with a character for the new campaign. Nil is going to DM so we'll see how this goes. I'm sure it will have a /completely/ different flavor than Aetheo's DMing haha.
• Pick another thing to paint during the previous two events. It has been nice to always have a painting to work on, even if it means that less writing gets done, b/c painting really just eats time lol. But I want to get better at it and there's now way to do that other than to practice. and it's nice to have a body of recent work.

 Things Could Be Worse! But they could also be significantly better. So.

Posting Update
One chapter this week, and it's a bit of a short one. But we're back to SMST so can't complain.

Serpent's Mouth, Serpent's Teeth - Chapter Four - Our Side of the Galaxy (Neidhart Muller and Hank von Leigh: Selected Correspondence)
This chapter was pretty fun to write when I actually sat down and wrote it. I do love some epistolary nonsense. I'm a little worried that all of this feel very "out of nowhere" for Yang's side of the story, since Muller has not actually been shown on screen in this half, and he's just delivering Yang a whole bunch of information. It flows a lot more smoothly in LOftT. But whatever. We've sometimes gotta live with the information mismatch lol. I want each half to be readable on its own but they are first and foremost designed to be read in posting order so. It is not worth doing like any shenanigans to draw this section out. I just want to get the plot moving.

Writing Update
Oh this is going to be terrible I have barely written anything this week. I can't even bear to say it. 3,565 words last week. 😬😬😬😬😬

I really need to get a move on. Stop getting distracted by stupid nonsense. If I continue to only post one chapter per week it's going to be like 8 months before I finish /anything/ and that is, to put it bluntly, too fucking long. I need the hit of good-feeling that comes with finishing a book like once every couple months or I start to lose it completely. Anyway I really just need to force myself to write. I don't know how but I know I technically have the capability to do so. So I should.

Art Update
Big week for art. This is why the writing has tanked, b/c I probably spent idk 20+ hours on non-writing art. Which is fun! but absolutely not what I'm supposed to be doing. Nobody is hanging out in noodle-land b/c they want to see me make AMVs or draw pictures lol. My skill in those areas is just like so far below my writing skill that a truly optimized person would not ever bother. But you know, sometimes the soul needs to set clips of anime boys to jesus music and draw pictures of dubious quality.

And a drawing!

I had fun drawing this one! It's a pretty obvious riff on one of the Overture to a New War images but I figure I'm allowed to do that :p It's perhaps bold of me to include an OC in my poster but whatever. I love Ingrid. And I certainly wasn't going to make Annerose and Schenkopp stand like that lol.

I also dumped a whole bunch of hours into a painting of Yang and Kircheis that made me so frustrated that I had to stop. I think maybe when drawing anime men I should try to stick mostly to an anime style instead of painting them. I just get so turned around in my brain and make a mess.

Life Update
Nothing really major going on these days. I want to hang out with people but there's no one around to hang out with. 

Got fitted for skates on Saturday. I haven't gotten the pair yet b/c they have to be custom ordered, because I have feet that are probably several standard deviations above average width wise. Hopefully this will make skating a lot more pleasant. I will have to go to free skating and not rent skates about 60 times before they pay for themselves though so lol I guess this will encourage me to keep up with the hobby. Hopefully anyway. Skating yesterday was okay. I'm definitely getting better but also I was the only one at the lesson so it was a little extra cringe b/c I had to both skate (which I'm horrible at) and make small talk with the teacher (also bad at this). But I can now go pretty far without toppling over lol.

Went swimming today. On one hand the locker room is an eternal nightmare (there's no changing stalls so it's like yeah your whole business is just out in front of everyone) but I do enjoy swimming. Someone needs to communicate to my fellow YMCA patrons that the aforementioned locker room with no changing stalls is not the place you should be having a facetime conversation.

Struggling to think if anything else has happened since last monday. I don't think so. It snowed a bit. Saturday was freakishly warm which was nice. I really want spring to come.

I'm so sleeby ;0;

What's On the Docket?

• SMST ch5 - yang and ansbach wear their get-along shirt
• SMST ch6 - cahokia time
• actually get those chapters done; don't get distracted with endless bullshit nonsense lol
• hopefully actually acquire ice skates
• swimming on thursday
• skating on sunday

 Hm. Did Not Do Great I've Gotta Say

Posting Update

Only one chapter this week. RIP.

Every Hateful Instrument - Chapter Eleven - Pirate In the Hands of a Jealous God

Writing Update
Since last Monday, I wrote 7,035 words. Struggle city over here. Better than last week but that's not saying much. I'm super almost done with my next EHI chapter though, so that should be posted sometime soon. I will /probably/ hit 50k for the month, since i really really really want to start the year off strong, but i will try not to beat myself up about it if I don't.

I'd really like to write some sort of short piece-- either a fic or an original short story-- this month after i finish this spate of EHI chapters and before I start my SMST chapters. doing short things is weirdly fun and i like having a stack of them. I should participate in more exchanges, except all the waiting around inherent in exchanges kinda makes me lose it.

Media Update
Finally got around to watching Golden Wings (1992) [letterboxd review]. i think its reputation as being bad is undeserved. It has some wonk moments in it like, as a piece of film, and there's no way on god's green earth that i would ever show someone this as their 'intro to logh' media, but it has its own distinct charm. By giving more than a handwave to the concept of heterosexuality, Golden Wings dares to ask the question "what if Kircheis was the main character of LOGH?" and for this reason... it has deposited a single brainworm directly into my skull. but like, I don't have the time to write 200k words of Golden Wings canon divergence AU even though I kinda desperately want to lmao. someday maybe.

even in a tiny fandom i'm cursed to seek out the stupidest nichest most unpopular things to want to write about. looking forward to alienating all of my readers with my nonsense lol.

Life Update
Honestly not that much to report. Last week was fairly boring and I didn't do anything over the weekend except ice skate. I think part of my problem and why my feet hurt so fucking much was that I was wearing skates that were at least 2 sizes too small width wise. like in normal life i do wear a womens 11.5 wide shoe (and even then... i can barely get half those shoes on my feet). so you can imagine that trying to cram myself into some standard size ice skates perhaps would cause my feet to cry out in agony. I moved up to a size 13 skate but when I go next week I'll ask if they have 14s, or wides. I kinda doubt that they will but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Speaking of it not hurting to ask. I went to the YMCA today b/c I wanted to go swimming. I go to the pool and I see a sign that vaguely indicates that you're supposed to reserve time so i'm like. oh. shit. and go talk to the lifeguard about it (glad I did this before getting in the pool, and glad I am now able to "ask staff of a place a question without it being a whole Thing" lol.) anyway apparently you DO need to register for a timeslot on their website in advance, a fact that is literally not communicated anywhere on their website in the least, or on the printed schedule that they give out. nor is it on their app that i downloaded specifically so i could see the times when the pool was open. like guys. you do not make this info easy to find. 

I really wish that more public places would have a "what to expect when you come here" section on their website. i know that i am an autist who really could have used various "social stories" when growing up [if you don't know what this is it's a SpEd thing-- sometimes it's walking someone through a social interaction like buying an item at the store, sometimes it's just like "we're going to the dentist. here is what happens at the dentist"] anyway it would be. Nice. if there was just slightly more information like that available. or even just a "if you want the pool, here are our policies, register here" in a prominent location. 

ok i'm done whining about that. i signed up for a thursday slot. the reason i can only go monday/thursday is that this YMCA is actually very far away from my house (like a half hour drive away) b/c it's right next to my work, and I signed up for it rather than the one in my actual town b/c my work gives a discount on membership there. it would be nice if i could also be a member at the local Y but good god i'm not paying for 2 YMCA memberships. anyway i've been a member of this Y since like january of 2020 and I've been paying for a membership that i only actually used regularly for like an single month before the plague. 

why do i want to go swimming now? complicated brain problems reasons. mostly spurred on by working on EHI again actually probably lmao. "noodle stop making your books just you working out all your issues in a very weird and abstract way" "no"

anyway. idk.

What's On the Docket?

• Super almost done with EHI ch12. that should be finished today or tomorrow.
• Write EHI ch13 (this one should be fun)
• Actually succeed at going swimming on Thursday. lmao.
• More ice skating on sunday.
• Write either a short fic or a short story. Probably should be responsible and write a short story so that I can start working on my other goal of submitting nonsense to litmags but this is a very very silly goal and the amount of motivation i have for it is actually kinda low lol.
• nottanewtype said that they are going to come hang out with me this weekend :D very excited about that
• try to fix some of the work disasters that i've just been shoving further and further away from me

 ough today was a slog for sure. but i enjoy doing my weekly writeups so here ye go.

Posting Update
Two chapters this week :) + an informational post

Serpent's Mouth, Serpent's Teeth - Chapter Two - Letter from Belgium (B-Side)
New Creatures With New Hearts - Chapter Twelve - Caverns Measureless to Man

So, You Want to Write Original Fiction and Post It Online? Here's What to Expect.I have got to stop posting chapters at ass o'clock in the morning. nobody sees them lol.

General Writing Update
when I was feeling stuck I briefly wrote like idk 200 words of a "what if in WIAW reuenthal had arrived too late to save yang in speaking in tongues, what would that horrid school funeral look like?" AU of my AU. can you tell i just watched the dreams of the morning, songs of the night gaiden? lol. anyway, aside from that, which will probably never get finished, everything has been posted. time to start some fresh new chapters :)

i got an idea for a short story, also, so I am excited about that (I rarely get actual ideas for short stories, and it's one of my goals to write more of them)

since last monday, I wrote 13,584 words. whoo!

Media Update
As I said, I watched the dreams of the morning, songs of the night gaiden for the first time. It's very stupid for several reasons (why is colorblindness a problem when oberstein is a captain pre-series and literally does not have eyeballs? the mystery plot makes no sense and the solution comes out of fucking nowhere). i'm glad i didn't watch it until now or i would have been compelled to include all its stupidity in WIAW. I feel like I managed to already cover everything that gaiden was trying to say thematically in that story already by total coincidence lol so I suppose it's a wash in the end. 

I've also sunk, uh, 14 hours into the video game Inscryption over the past week. it really grabbed me by the throat. I think I'm like 2/3s of the way through it? unfortunately, I feel like the beginning third is stronger (and more fun) than the latter 2/3s but such is life. it's probably for the best that they put that chunk first so that it does grab you. it's a horror flavored deck-building game, and in it you can cut off parts of your body as sacrifices to stay alive, a concept that, i regret to say, I am Into. also the card mechanics are fun and some combinations you can get are like delightfully game breaking.

Life Update
uhhh what did i do this past week? not sleep enough lol. going on vacation fucked my sleep schedule up so bad. my body loves to be awake at 2am. anyway i've mostly writing and playing video games. 

I cleaned my house pretty thoroughly b/c i thought a friend might need to stay over (this did not end up happening) but now my house is clean. I'm trying to keep it that way.

I went to my ice skating lesson that I thought was a good idea. it's just revealing how pathetically out of shape i am and how bad i am at most things that aren't the small sliver of things that i spend all my time doing lol. but even if i am like extremely cringe and bad at it and it makes me sad, i am going to keep going. i pride myself on my perseverance so we'll put that to the test for something that is more challenging to my psyche than easy things that i'm already good at and just have to put time into. it's good to exit the comfort zone. (this is what i am telling myself.) anyway i guess two solid years of Literally Never Leaving My House has been pretty bad for my body :| who'd have guessed. it makes me kinda miserable to think about b/c it feels like such an intractable problem. anyway whatever. i'll go ice skate again on sunday and embarrass myself in front of 50 5-9 year olds who are having their own lessons on the other side of the rink, as well as their parents, and also the lesson teacher and the other students in my group. lol.

to end on a less miserable note: i cooked some turkey meatballs last week that were surprisingly good. i'll have to do that again.

What's On the Docket?

• this week I want to get done SMST ch3 (a kircheis chapter) and EHI ch11 (an aymon chapter). if i have time i'd like to write a short story (see above) but this may not happen b/c my GOAL with writing short stories is to [gasp] not just post them on the internet immediately, and instead see if i can get them published. this is for reason of: ego. but it also means that i have way less impetus to actually write them since i love to post things on the internet lmao. so if it gets done, great, if not, whatever.
• need to ask nottanewtype if she wants to hang out this month before the month is over and she has to go back to work lol
• i still need to deal with my fucking YMCA membership -_-
• i have tofu in my fridge that i need to cook. what's a good tofu dish for me to make. ideally one that does not require me going to the grocery store. 
• [imagine me cringing but plastering a smile on my face regardless] ice skating on sunday :)
• finish playing inscryption, start playing... banner saga again. i really want to finish that too.

This is essentially directly crossposted from javert

It's that time of year again! Technically, I could have saved doing this for tomorrow, but since I'm not going to publish anything else until (fingers crossed) the wee morning hours of January 1, 2022(!) I feel like it's fine to do it today while I'm thinking about it and have the motivation lol.

Quick Summary

• I wrote ~382k words (~286k fewer than last year)
• There were 86 days in 2021 where I wrote 0 words
• The day with the highest wordcount was March 7, with 5,638 words
• My best month was November with 50,007 words
• My worst month was April with 19,702 words
• On average, I wrote 1,048 words per day
• I posted 18 works (fics + original fiction + nonfiction)
• I met or partially met 6 out of 9 of my 2021 goals
• Going to do better in 2022!

Here's my daily writing tracker
[2020 wrapup post] [2019 wrapup post] [2018 wrapup post]

What Were My Goals for 2021?
These goals were both written when I was EXTREMELY depressed and simultaneously was coming off of the best writing year (and probably the best year of my entire life [look. the bar has been on the floor.]) so I had very high expectations that I absolutely failed to meet. Sorry past noodle.
( 2021 goals )
I can't tell if my readmores are working. hope they are. 

What Did I Write in 2021?

Takeaways From This Year of Writing
Goals for 2022

Title shamelessly stolen from andmaybegayer 

Posting Update
I "posted" "three" things this past week

Yuletide fic - [redacted for now] - T - 6.8k words.
I'm linking it, but the link won't work for another few days so this is for posterity's sake more than anything else lol. I'm actually really proud of this fic, especially since I'm always nervous about writing in a new canon. But I do think I did a really good job with capturing the tone and voice of the source material. Less good of a job on actually fulfilling my giftee's request, but look. There's only so much that I, a human,

"A Somewhat Larger Death, Indeed" - Downton Abbey - E - 3.3k words
I'm... significantly less proud of this one. I dashed it off just to get myself unstuck. My original idea that I wrote down months ago in the secret "idea channel" in my discord wasGeneral Writing Update
This week, I worked on the following that /hasn't/ been posted yet.

Pictures of Decency - LOGH
This is a planned pre-canon Yang fic about Yang/Jessica/Lapp + Dusty + Julian + various other things. Its status has been "half of an outline written" for many months, and I dusted off that outline intending to blast through this fic for LOGH secret santa. I completely and totally failed to do that. I got idk, 800 words in and hit the biggest brick wall of all time (I think I just had too high expectations for myself), so I've had to change course and abandon this plan. I will probably come back to this someday, because I think the core idea is really good, but it's clearly not something I have the capability to actually produce right now.

Every Hateful Instrument - Original - Chapter 9. 
Chapter nine is done! Or mostly done. I'm asking Em if I should add another scene at the end. On one hand, it might be a fun scene, but otoh, this is a high-tension area of the story (hey, in my romance novel the two main characters are finally about to meet, 50,000 words and 10 chapters in!) so I don't really want to slow the pacing down just so I can fool around and have one of the characters show how cool he is. lmao. the reader should already be aware that Hail is cool. But I did set up this scene in earlier chapters, so I'm waffling. I also cut a chapter from my outline, so some events have been moved up a bit.

In total, since last monday, I wrote 9,339 words. Not great, not terrible.

Art Update
Only new art to report is Catboy Reinhard. I will probably at some point remove the cat ears and just make him Regularboy Reinhard.

Life Update
Things of note that happened this past week

• had a 1on1 tabletop session (i call it dnd but really we use mutants and masterminds) with my DM since our party got split up. it was way more fun than i was expecting!
• cooked some butternut squash soup. it was decent but probably the effort:outcome ratio isn't really there
• bought a pork shoulder to make ??? with. probably just pulled pork/carnitas
• had a long phone call with lydia about like. where we stand with each other. i will be honest it did not make me feel the slightest bit better. i have a lot of thoughts about this / myself / etc but this is probably not the time or place for that particular navel gazing. i think the long and short of it is: i'm tired of being treated like a problem to be solved / talked to like i'm a toddler at the therapist who doesn't know how to live life as an adult (I like my life! I think I do a pretty good job of it, all things considered!); whatever quirk of my psychology (autism, lbr lmao) lets me achieve massive things, stick through with shit, get projects done, ie all of the things i like about myself, is the exact same brain pathway that is going to make me feel sad about this on some level forever. lydia is incapable of understanding why i am like this. anyway it's not like i'm really expecting anything to change-- i am moving on with my life and me feeling like garbage about that doesn't preclude me from being happy elsewhere or having feelings for other people (which. i do have feelings for other people and that's a whole other different ball of string)
• oh and one more thing on that subject that really ground my gears into a fine pile of metallic shavings: ( Read more... )
• i have been sleeping extremely poorly recently and it's taking a toll. winter/christmas especially is just a historically terrible time of the year (it's fucking dark and cold, every place i need to go is crowded and full of obnoxious sounds, there are family obligations that make me feel lower than the worms, etc) so this is unsurprising but also unpleasant.

What's on the docket?

• LOGH secret santa fic. i need to pick an achievable idea and write it. honestly i'm dragging my feet b/c i don't have any good ideas but like. i have a responsibility and i'm not going to /not/ do it.
• post EHI ch9
• write EHI ch10 (it seems somewhat unlikely that this will get done this week but it would be nice)
• make christmas gifts for my family + lydia. these will all be little notebooks with laser cut covers. i bought the materials for the interior already, so i have everything i need, except for the fact that i haven't started lol. i need to get a move on with this b/c between the art and manufacturing time it's probably idk 20 hours of work and christmas is in 5 days. lmao. the designs for these will be as follows: lydia is getting a strawberry (b/c she loves celeste [video game]), my mother is getting our lady of guadalupe, finn is getting idk. an eminem album cover or the die hard movie poster, v is getting lmao idfk. something about lifeguarding maybe, my dad is getting a leopard gecko, and t is getting ??? idk.
• buy gift cards + clothing for other family gifts. i will just need to be brave and go to target to acquire these things. maybe tomorrow i will do this.
• watch the JWST launch (theoretically happening on the 24th? though the 23rd my time iirc)
• finish rereading speaking in tongues and talking without speaking. i probably don't have the verve to write actual posts/postmortems on them right now, but it's an interesting experience to revisit them.
• I really need to figure out what to do about my debit card expiring. I don't have a new one yet.